Further adventures in house painting
by Roger Faris
This is the summer for painting our house, again. If I say that I'll do it next year, that would be a third or fourth postponement. But who's counting?
My reluctance to begin the job is not just that I fell and broke my ankle last time. And its not because when I landed on the garage roof the entire can of paint spilled on my head. After all, the water based paint washed out easily enough before my visit to the emergency room, and the doctors and nurses at Group Health are so nice. I'm now more aware of the principles of physics, the law of gravity, and the rules of ladder safety, but there are other factors which still give me pause.
One unpleasant fact about house painting is the absence of any guarantee that the results will last. I know several professional painters who have experienced the agony of major paint failure, despite the fact that they had carefully prepared the surfaces followed all recommended application procedures. Their customers have been known to practically blow a gasket when peeling and blistering occur within a year or two. These good and decent painters then feel responsible and do a lot of work without compensation, even though they were often not at fault.
Sometimes the culprit is an earlier coat of paint that is insufficiently bonded to the surface below. The paint may resist scraping, and appear to be a suitable candidate for an additional layer, but as the new paint cures and shrinks it causes stress. A buildup of many layers of paint increases the opportunity for this type of stress failure. The older paint films may have lost their original elasticity. People compare this to a camel whose back is broken by the addition of one last straw. Camels have been known to spit when they hear us talking like this.
Another common cause of premature failure is excessive moisture which can attack the paint from the rear. The source may be high humidity from a homeowner's penchant for pasta, or someone taking long showers without a ventilating fan. Siding and trim can also become excessively wet if there are problems with the roof, gutters, or downspouts, or if the house lacks protective eves.
What else can go wrong? I've seen a crackling good fire started by a painter who tried the torch method to remove paint from tinder-dry cedar siding. He told me that he won't be using that method again. Skin burns are almost universal when people use chemical strippers. Lead contamination and lawsuits are another nightmare. This has become fairly common since more neighbors are now aware of the health consequences of lead ingestion. Unfortunately, many painters are still using power sanders without taking sufficient precautions to prevent the fine dust from crossing property lines.
House painting is risky and unpleasant in many ways. Many of the materials are toxic, some of the work is performed from a precarious perch, and most of the tasks are not very interesting. Painters need to be patient and persevering. When they feel unjustly accused of doing bad work, some of them react by ceasing to be painters. They find new jobs in the diplomatic corps, or as body-surfing instructors. Unlike the poor camels, they can choose not to carry the load.
They say that a lawyer who represents himself has a fool for a client. I wonder if you're thinking the same thing about my inclination to be my own house painter. Don't worry! I'm going to have a serious talk with myself before getting started. I'll review the pros and cons of removing all the old paint before applying new coatings. After concluding that complete paint removal is too difficult and messy, I'll decide to wash, scrape, spot prime, and paint the house. My customer will be cautioned not to count on a lasting result. Above all, I'll be nice to my painter, encouraging lots of coffee breaks, and suggesting lunch at the great local restaurants. We expect to get along just fine. I don't want me to get any ideas about putting off the job for another year.
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